I try to be ethical and smart and shit, but sometimes I fail...oh well, I keep trying anyway.
I hear some people (particularly feminists) say over and over again that they shouldn’t be put down for screaming at other people during debates because they have the right to be angry and to express that anger. I won’t deny that you have the right to be angry at misogynists, you absolutely do, and I know there are some people who, when they tell you to “calm down” or “lower your voice” are doing so because they don’t think women are allowed to be loud. Let me tell you, though, that’s not why I do that to people. It has nothing to do with your gender, it’s just that I sometimes have trouble processing what you’re saying (partly because of my anxiety and fear of confrontation) if you’re screaming directly at me. I have no doubt that this is often the case for many other people.
While it’s true that deluded people shouldn’t be sheltered from the facts, I simply don’t think screaming at them is good for anyone, including yourself (doing it all the time can cause high-blood-pressure). Call me crazy, but I don’t think calling people names and hollering is likely to get anyone on your side, either. I get it though, I really do, I get so angry at people sometimes, but it’s in my principles to treat everyone like a human being, even if they’re a mis-educated human being.
When I was younger, I used to go to a lot of group-therapy sessions, and they taught us ways to discuss and argue things with people without screaming, using trigger words that, to the subconscious, seem offensive or indicative of hidden motives, etc. Basically, they taught us to make the other person feel comfortable with us through our language and tone, and 9/10, it made for more effective communication. It diffused tensions in general, for both parties. Many people who feel the need to debate don’t know these tips and tricks (I wish I could remember them, maybe I’ll look them up later), and so are at an extreme disadvantage as to promoting emotionally healthy and respectful discussions on both sides. It makes me sad that so many people don’t know how to argue constructively and respectfully, when there really is a better way. If people won’t listen to you that way, they’re not going to change their mind, and they’re not worth your time and energy. Move on to other mediums where you can potentially inspire people who are more open-minded about whatever issues you’re discussing. Isolate those who are receptive, and focus on them.
Remember, if you slip up once in a while and go a little nuts, it just means you’re human, but doing it all the time, in my opinion, is a problem. Food for thought.